Ellie Simmonds’ birth mother explains why she gave her up in emotional phone call as part of her new documentary.
The Strictly star, 28, revealed in 2023 for the first time that she was adopted when she was three months old and had now been reunited with her birth mother.
The year before she decided to search for her blood family after finding out she had been put up for adoption at just 10 days old.
Born with achondroplasia (dwarfism), Ellie was devastated to discover her mum wished she had died at birth after medics told her Ellie would be ridiculed and seen as ‘evil’ and ‘stupid’.
Ellie opened up about it in her first documentary series Finding My Secret Family, but now her second explores the journey of whether Ellie herself wants kids and is called Ellie Simmonds: Should I Have Children?.
In a clip ahead of the show coming out next week Ellie says to her mother on the phone: ‘I want to know what it was like for her to decide to put me up for adoption.
Ellie Simmonds’ birth mother explains why she gave her up in emotional phone call as part of her new documentary
The Strictly star, 28, revealed in 2023 for the first time that she was adopted when she was three months old and had now been reunited with her birth mother
‘For her it was 30 years ago, but it’s quite a sensitive, super emotional situation.’
Her birth mother, who remains anonymous on screen, replies: ‘It’s really quite traumatic. It’s hard for you to hear. I don’t want to in any way upset you.
‘You’re making a decision at the wrong time of your life, because you’ve just given birth, your hormones are all over the place. You’re physically not right, you’re mentally not right.
‘There was a lot in the background going on. I kept the pregnancy a secret, I gave birth on my own. I went to a geneticist and she was very abrupt.
‘She said, ‘There you go, that’s what your baby is going to look like’. I remember thinking I can’t cope with this. Maybe I wanted a magic wand.’
She continues: ‘All I could see was your disability. You can make excuses, but I really did struggle. I grieved the child that I thought you should have been. It was the biggest decision of my life.
‘To give your biological child away… it was momentous. I just handed you over and that’s something you really can never get over. The guilt is horrendous. You live with it all the time.
Born with achondroplasia (dwarfism), Ellie was devastated to discover her mum wished she had died at birth after medics told her Ellie would be ridiculed and seen as ‘evil’ and ‘stupid’
Ellie opened up about it in her first documentary series Finding My Secret Family, but now her second explores the journey of whether Ellie herself wants kids and is called Ellie Simmonds: Should I Have Children? (Ellie as a baby)
Afterwards Ellie speaks to the camera: ‘It seems that she held that guilt for a long time. That’s really sad.
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‘We put a lot of pressure on the mum in society. It’s amazing that she’s so honest and open. I think people’s fear of a disability is actually a fear of what’s inside of them.’
Back in 2023 when her first documentary aired Ellie told how she understands why her birth mother did what she did due to misinformation given at the time including how expensive it might be to care for a child with disabilities.
She told The Guardian ahead of her documentary about adoption: ‘When you’ve just had a baby, you’re vulnerable, you’re emotional, there’s a lot you’re feeling.
‘To find out the child’s got a disability, and then to be given this information … You are fearful. It’s that unknown. Even now, a child with a disability, you’re told they’re expensive, they need more support.
‘I put myself in her shoes. From the records, she was going through a lot mentally – I know more now – and she was on her own. Yes, I was upset, but I was also open to it.’
During the chat she also opened up about what it was like to meet her birth mother for the first time.
Ellie told how at the start she was ‘very, very nervous’ but as soon as they saw each other they just hugged and cried before chatting for five hours.
She’s previously gushed about her adoptive parents Val and Steve Simmonds saying that her parents brought her up in a ‘positive manner’ and were very accepting of who she was
In a clip ahead of the show coming out next week Ellie says to her mother on the phone: ‘I want to know what it was like for her to decide to put me up for adoption…’
She also gushed about her adoptive parents Val and Steve Simmonds saying that her parents brought her up in a ‘positive manner’ and were very accepting of who she was.
Ellie said: ‘If I didn’t have my parents, I wouldn’t be the swimmer or the person that I am today. They gave me that opportunity and they put me on that journey.’
She said in her ITV documentary: ‘Until now, it’s never emotionally affected me, it never made me feel rejected or ask why do my birth parents not want me.
‘I’ve been so focused on the future and never thought about it.’
What is Achondroplasia?
Achondroplasia is a form of short-limbed dwarfism. The word achondroplasia literally means ‘without cartilage formation’. However, the problem is not in forming cartilage but in converting it to bone, particularly in the long bones of the arms and legs.
All people with achondroplasia have short stature. The average height of an adult male with achondroplasia is four feet, four inches, and the average height for adult females is four feet, one inch.
Characteristic features of achondroplasia include an average-size trunk, short arms and legs with particularly short upper arms and thighs, limited range of motion at the elbows, and an enlarged head with a prominent forehead.
Fingers are typically short and the ring finger and middle finger may diverge, giving the hand a three-pronged (trident) appearance.
Health problems commonly ᴀssociated with achondroplasia include episodes in which breathing slows or stops for short periods (apnea), obesity, and recurrent ear infections.
Source: nih.gov.
