Dancing on Ice pro Colin Grafton has admitted he almost quit ITV show’s last ever series earlier this year following the death of former professional partner and friend The Vivienne.

The Drag Race UK star, whose real name was James Lee Williams, died January 5 just days ahead of the show’s launch, from a cardiac arrest after taking ketamine, following years of sobriety and being open about their battle with drugs. 

Colin, 33, and The Vivienne made history on the show back in 2023 as the entertainer became the first drag queen to compete and together reached the final, before being pipped to the post by eventual winner Olympian Nile Wilson. 

But Colin said the pᴀssing of his ‘beautiful friend’ left him unsure if he could return to the rink, despite already having spent months training with new partner and The Traitors star Mollie Pearce, 23 – the show was later ‘rested’ by bosses following plummeting ratings. 

He told The Mirror: ‘It was really tricky for me to get my head in the right place to do the series, I actually had a lot of thought of if I was going to do it or not. My partner Mollie was just so fantastic and was there for me along with the other pros and everybody really.’ 

‘It was very challenging, but at the same time… Mollie and I had put in so much work and I know that’s what Viv would have wanted me to do. Go out there and show everybody our hard work and that’s how we did it.’ 

Dancing on Ice Colin Grafton (L) has admitted he almost quit the ITV show’s last ever series earlier this year following the death of former partner and friend The Vivienne (R)

Colin said the pᴀssing of his ‘beautiful friend’ left him unsure if he could return to the rink, despite already training with new partner and The Traitors star Mollie Pearce (pictured)

Colin made his debut on the show in 2023 with The Vivienne being his first celebrity partner, something he said made their partnership even more special .

‘Obviously very sad of pᴀssing, so that’s another reason I had to take some time after the [2025] show just to process as I had no time during the show. That whole season [with The Vivienne] for me was just very special.’ 

Following The Vivienne’s death Colin took to Instagram with a heartbreaking tribute and penned: ‘I can’t believe I’m writing these words. It is with an extraordinarily heavy heart that I say goodbye to my beautiful friend and skating partner, The Vivienne.

‘Viv was and is a true icon in every sense of the word, and inspired thousands of people far and wide with everything they did and accomplished.’

He continued: ‘They truly brought light into every room they entered, and gave so many people hope where there was none. I am truly heartbroken.

‘What we were able to accomplish together on Dancing On Ice was truly remarkable and I know your bravery and our partnership inspired many people.

‘I will always be so proud of what we accomplished. Viv, your spirit, strength, and kindness will always stay with me and with everyone you touched. I will forever cherish our time together on and off the ice, you will forever be my Mary Poppins.

‘I promise to carry your memory with me in everything I do. You taught me so much about so many things, and I am eternally grateful. Your legacy lives on.’

The Drag Race UK star, whose real name was James Lee Williams , died January 5 just days ahead of the show’s launch, from a cardiac arrest after taking ketamine 

Colin, 33, and The Vivienne made history on the show back in 2023 as the entertainer became the first drag queen to compete and together reached the final 

He said: It was really tricky for me to get my head in the right place to do the series, I actually had a lot of thought of if I was going to do it or not’

Last week The Vivienne’s sister Chanel said the family only learned of the star’s struggle with drug addiction after watching them on RuPaul’s Drag Race in 2019. 

In a 2019 episode of the show, the Liverpudlian revealed to viewers they had been addicted to ‘party drugs’ for four years. 

Read More The Vivienne’s ‘devastated’ sister reveals family had no idea ‘struggling’ Drag Race star was no longer sober in first TV interview – two months after entertainer’s tragic drug related death

‘I couldn’t leave the drugs at the party, it was constant,’ they said, breaking down in tears. 

The Vivienne also previously described ketamine as their ‘breakfast, lunch and dinner’ at the height of addiction and at one time their drug use led them to be hospitalised three times in a single month. 

Although Chanel said her brother had managed a long period of sobriety before relapsing, they had kept this later drug use hidden from them as well.

Chanel said she was now been left wondering if there was something she could have done something to prevent her brother’s tragic death. 

‘Had I asked the questions or just looked for the signs, would the outcome be different?’ she told the BBC. 

The Vivienne, was found ᴅᴇᴀᴅ in their bathroom of their home, in Chorlton-by-Backford, near Chester.  Police confirmed there were no suspicious circumstances surrounding the death, with the family later revealing the drag queen’s heart had stopped due to ketamine side effects. 

Chanel said she believed that — despite her brother speaking openly about prior drug struggles — their successful career had made it difficult to seek help. 

Last week The Vivienne’s sister Chanel said the family only learned of the star’s struggle with drug addiction after watching them on RuPaul ‘s Drag Race in 2019 

She said she saw it as The Vivienne’s ‘legacy’ to raise awareness around the dangers of Ketamine and get it reclassified to class A and are taking their fight to the Houses of Parliament (pictured 2023) 

‘He was at the height of everything he was doing and I think because he’d said it in such an open platform, it’s really difficult to come back and say you’re struggling again,’ she said. 

Chanel said she and her family are now to tackle the stigma surrounding addiction as part of her brother’s legacy. 

‘It’s hard for me because I think if that stigma wasn’t there, would my brother have sought the help he needed,’ she said. 

‘To think that if we’d known, or if he’d have felt able to talk and really reach out for the help that was needed, the outcome could’ve been different.’

WHAT IS KETAMINE? 

Ketamine is a powerful general anesthetic that is used to stop humans and animals experiencing pain during operations.

It started being used as a party drug in the late 2000s, with people taking it before raves for a more intense experience. 

It is used as an anesthetic, and has been in the national spotlight since the death of Colorado’s Elijah McClain, who struggled with police and was injected by paramedics with a dosage appropriate for someone weighing 200 pounds. He weighed 143 pounds. Colorado is now trying to limit first responders’ use of ketamine and other chemical restraints. 

What are the side effects? 

Ketamine causes a loss of feeling and paralysis of the muscles.

It can also lead to people experiencing hallucinations and a distortion of reality, which many call entering the ‘k-hole’.

This is when people believe they have spoken to God or a higher power, which can lead to addiction as they crave that experience.

Ketamine may also cause people to feel incapable of moving, or lead to panic attacks, confusion and memory loss.

Regular users can seriously damage their bladders, which may need to be surgically removed.

Other risks include a raised heart rate and blood pressure.

Paralysis of the muscles can leave people vulnerable to hurting themselves, while not feeling pain properly can cause them to underestimate any damage. 

Many claim ketamine withdrawal is worse than any other drug, with some feeling so depressed they contemplate suicide. 

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the Samaritans here.

How is it taken and what is the law around it? 

For medical use ketamine is liquid but the ‘street’ drug is normally a grainy, white powder.

In 1999, ketamine became a Schedule III non-narcotic substance under the Controlled Substances Act. It currently has accepted medical uses for short-term sedation and anesthesia. 

In 2019, the FDA approved a version of the drug for treatment-resistant depression, which is only available at a doctor’s office or a clinic. 

Is illegal use of ketamine common?

In May 2023, a new report found that law enforcement agencies seized more than 1,500 pounds of ketamine in 2022 – about 12 times more than in 2017.

Tennessee, Florida and California had the most seizures of the drug. However, it’s not clear whether those states have the highest usage. 

Medical-grade ketamine is typically in a liquid form and is often administered through an IV. 

But most of the illegally obtained ketamine was in a powder form, which means it risks being contaminated with other chemicals, in particular fentanyl.

How many people die from ketamine use? 

Exact data is hard to come by: unlike with cocaine, heroin, or opioids the CDC does not publish the data on monthly and annual deaths.

The number is low, especially when compared to drugs such as fentanyl, which in 2022 killed almost 74,000 people. 

 

Source: Talk to Frank, US Drug Enforcement ᴀssociation