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EXCLUSIVE How Christina Haack’s third divorce pushed her to confront anxious-attachment style and ‘co-dependency issues’

EXCLUSIVE
How Christina Haack's third divorce pushed her to confront anxious-attachment style and 'co-dependency issues'

HGTV star Christina Haack has bravely continued to wear her heart on her sleeve in the public eye after battling three, painful divorces over the past eight years. 

Last week, the Flip or Flop star, 41, addressed the criticism surrounding her love life as she revealed her ‘history of codependency issues’ and anxious attachment style.

Amid her new, healthy relationship with CEO and president of Network Connex, Christopher Larocca, the mom-of-three opened up about discovering she has anxious attachment, which causes people to struggle to feel secure in relationships.

In a vulnerable Instagram post, shared with her 1.9 million Instagram followers, Haack admitted she was ‘not sure’ what took her so long to come to this revelation. 

‘Things can be challenging and by things I mean me,’ she explained, before detailing how her new romance has pushed her to leave her toxic relationship patterns in the past. 

The Anaheim native went on to admit that it still, at times, feels strange to her to have met an ‘unexpected good man who has his own amazing career, life & hobbies (who also happens to have zero jealousy).’

EXCLUSIVE
How Christina Haack’s third divorce pushed her to confront anxious-attachment style and ‘co-dependency issues’

HGTV star Christina Haack has bravely continued to wear her heart on her sleeve in the public eye after battling three, painful divorces over the past eight years

‘At 41, I’m finally learning about safe communication, independence during commitment and a relationship that is NOT 0-100,’ she said of her current mindset. 

According to CBT therapist, Ludovica Colella, who has over 10 years of experience in the mental health field, it is not uncommon for high-achieving individuals to overlook or mask anxious attachment for years.

Read More The REAL reason Tarek El Moussa and Heather Rae are already in couple’s therapy revealed article image

‘High achievers often learn to rely on productivity and control as coping mechanisms,’ Colella, who has not worked with Haack, told DailyMail.com. 

She continued: ‘Their career success plus the external validation they get for their performance can easily mask deeper attachment wounds, making anxious attachment difficult to recognize—even to themselves.’

In the past, Haack confessed to being ‘guilty of putting pressure on others’ and getting trapped in the same ‘cycle.’

‘Facing my own insecurities has forced me into doing the shadow work I’ve been avoiding,’ the TV personality noted. 

Colella also explained that ‘anxious attachment often drives people to subconsciously seek out emotionally unavailable partners’ as it mirrors ‘early relational experiences.’ 

‘We tend to gravitate toward what feels familiar, even when it’s painful,’ she said. ‘For someone with an anxious attachment style and a high-achieving personality, love can become something that must be earned. They may mistake the need to work hard to be loved as a normal or even healthy part of a relationship, reinforcing patterns of emotional chasing and triggering the rejection wound.’

Amid her new, healthy relationship with Christopher Larocca (seen above), the mom-of-three opened up about discovering she has anxious attachment, which causes people to struggle to feel secure in relationships

Amid her new, healthy relationship with Christopher Larocca (seen above), the mom-of-three opened up about discovering she has anxious attachment, which causes people to struggle to feel secure in relationships 

As for whether there is a link between being in the spotlight and developing (or reinforcing) an anxious attachment style, Colella revealed that fame or being a public figure ‘can trigger and/or maintain the need for external validation and approval, reinforcing the idea that our value is dependent on how much love, appreciation, admiration we manage to get out of other people.’

Colella went on to point out that ‘his love is actually fleeting and not fulfilling.’

In close relationships, however, where control is less predictable and emotional vulnerability is required, Colella says that’s when ‘unresolved anxieties often begin to surface.’

In order to shift from anxious attachment to secure connection, a person needs to relearn about safety in emotional connections, which Colella stated ‘involves inner work, emotion regulation, learning effective communication strategies.’

In a vulnerable Instagram post, shared with her 1.9 million Instagram followers, Haack admitted she was 'not sure' what took her so long to come to this revelation

In a vulnerable Instagram post, shared with her 1.9 million Instagram followers, Haack admitted she was ‘not sure’ what took her so long to come to this revelation

'At 41, I¿m finally learning about safe communication, independence during commitment and a relationship that is NOT 0-100,' she explained

‘At 41, I’m finally learning about safe communication, independence during commitment and a relationship that is NOT 0-100,’ she explained

For those suffering from anxious-attachment, she recommended trying to identify the original abandonment/rejection wound and the idea that ‘love must be earned.’

Additionally, focusing on emotion regulation and reducing patterns of excessive reᴀssurance-seeking can also help on the path to self-improvement. 

For those who tend to love hard and fear rejection, Colella also advised ‘exploring past experiences related to emotional connections, relationship with parents, subconscious scripts and rules about love and intimacy.’

As for what healing looks like, and whether that includes marriage, heartbreak or professional success, Colella insisted ‘external achievement don’t necessarily equate or even relate’ it. 

‘Holding space for your vulnerabilities, embracing yourself flaws and all, being less reactive and more responsive, being less needy of external validation and less dependent on control and performance are good indicators of healing taking place,’ she concluded.

'Things can be challenging and by things I mean me,' she explained, before detailing how her new romance has pushed her to leave her toxic relationship patterns in the past

‘Things can be challenging and by things I mean me,’ she explained, before detailing how her new romance has pushed her to leave her toxic relationship patterns in the past

Haack’s post struck a chord with her followers, many of whom thanked her for sharing her experience. 

‘I think many people feel shame around anxious attachment style. And yet, we know it’s a coping mechanism of how you learned to stay safe and connected. Keep healing those old patterns ❤️❤️,’ one commented. 

Another wrote: ‘Commend your vulnerability. We need more of this.’ 

‘Proud of you! We all have issues and are human,’ a third added. 

Haack has had a strenuous road to finding love, enduring three very public and messy divorces and multiple court battles with her exes since she entered the public eye. 

The Anaheim native went on to admit that it still, at times, feels strange to her to have met an 'unexpected good man who has his own amazing career, life & hobbies (who also happens to have zero jealousy)'

The Anaheim native went on to admit that it still, at times, feels strange to her to have met an ‘unexpected good man who has his own amazing career, life & hobbies (who also happens to have zero jealousy)’

She and her first husband, Tarek El Moussa, met while they were both working as real estate agents at the firm Prudential in the early 2000s.

In 2008, they left the company to launch their own real estate agency together, called Tarek and Christina: The El Moussa Group.

They tied the knot in 2009, and one year later, they began flipping houses together.

The couple went on to welcome their first child, a daughter named Taylor Reese, in 2011.

It was around that time that they came up with the idea for Flip or Flop, and Tarek recorded an audition tape and sent it in to HGTV.

They were signed by the network in 2012, and they launched their show Flip or Flop one year later.

The couple began trying for a second child afterwards, but they struggled to get pregnant.

They went through two failed rounds of IVF and suffered from a devastating miscarriage before they welcomed their second child, a son named Brayden James, in 2015.

Haack has had a strenuous road to finding love, enduring three very public and messy divorces and multiple court battles with her exes since she entered the public eye (pictured with her first husband Tarek El Moussa)

Haack has had a strenuous road to finding love, enduring three very public and messy divorces and multiple court battles with her exes since she entered the public eye (pictured with her first husband Tarek El Moussa)

In May 2016, TMZ reported that cops had been called to the couple’s home after an altercation involving guns and a possible suicide attempt.

A helicopter and nearly a dozen deputies responded as witnesses told the site they saw El Moussa run out the back door of his home with a gun and tried to escape down a hiking trail.

Sources added that they saw Haack run out of the house sobbing and trembling shortly after.

Tarek later wrote of the incident in his 2024 book, and he said that after getting in an argument with Christina, he ‘went out to their backyard and hopped over the fence.’

While his then-wife feared for his life, he insisted that he only fled to get some exercise and check out the trails by their property after recently purchasing some new mountain bikes.

Following their split, she moved on with TV presenter, Ant Anstead

Following their split, she moved on with TV presenter, Ant Anstead

Six months after the incident, the couple announced that they were splitting after seven years of marriage.

‘Like many couples, we have had challenges in our marriage. We had an unfortunate misunderstanding about six months ago and the police were called to our house in an abundance of caution. There was no violence and no charges were filed,’ the pair said in a statement.

They told People that they attended marriage counseling but decided to separate while ᴀssessing ‘the future of their marriage.’

Seven years after their divorce, Tarek said he holds ‘nothing against Christina’ in an interview with People.

‘I understand why she did what she did. We had a lot of hard years through my sicknesses and my mental health struggles from the testosterone,’ he said.

He added that they had an amicable co-parenting relationship and that they ‘all communicate well.’

‘We really focus on the kids,’ he dished.

The former couple tied the knot that December during a low-key ceremony at their home in Newport Beach, California; seen in 2019

The former couple tied the knot that December during a low-key ceremony at their home in Newport Beach, California; seen in 2019

Following their split, she moved on with TV presenter, Ant Anstead. 

Ant had just gotten out of a divorce himself from his wife of 12 years, Louise, with whom he had welcomed two kids.

They started dating in October 2017, but kept their romance out of the public eye at first.

They went public in January 2018, when Christina shared a sultry pH๏τo of her and Ant to Instagram.

They tied the knot that December during a low-key ceremony at their home in Newport Beach, California.

By March 2019, Christina and Ant were expecting their first child together, and their son, Hudson London, was born in September.

But one year later, they shocked the world when they announced that they were splitting.

‘Ant and I have made the difficult decision to separate,’ Christina wrote on Instagram at the time.

‘We are grateful for each other and as always, our children will remain our priority.’ 

Just two weeks after her divorce was finalized from Anstead, Christina sparked dating rumors with real estate agent Josh Hall when they were spotted holding hands at the airport

Just two weeks after her divorce was finalized from Anstead, Christina sparked dating rumors with real estate agent Josh Hall when they were spotted holding hands at the airport

 She added in another post a few days later, ‘I never thought I would have one divorce let alone two.

‘I never thought I would have two baby daddies – but sometimes life throws us curve balls.

‘Instead of getting stuck in these “setbacks” I choose to look at these challenges as opportunities to grow.

‘So while some may judge me and throw around rumors about me, most of you support me.

‘And that says a lot about this world and where we are headed. I’m messy, I’m real and I’m working on healing … We are all a work in progress.’

Immediately, Christina faced backlash online for moving on so quickly as she explained shet met Hall 'in a state of fear or fight-or-flight'

Immediately, Christina faced backlash online for moving on so quickly as she explained shet met Hall ‘in a state of fear or fight-or-flight’

In 2024, however, Josh filed for divorce from Christina and their split played out on her reality show, The Flip Off

In 2024, however, Josh filed for divorce from Christina and their split played out on her reality show, The Flip Off

Just two weeks after her divorce was finalized, Christina sparked dating rumors with real estate agent Josh Hall when they were spotted holding hands at the airport.

Immediately, Christina faced backlash online for moving on so quickly. But she was quick to defend her new romance on Instagram.

‘I met Josh when I wasn’t in a state of fear or fight-or-flight … I may be a bit crazy and I’m definitely not perfect but I will never live my life based on other peoples judgments or opinions,’ she wrote.

‘We pride ourselves on never judging others and always wanting others to be happy and we wish others would have the same respect.

‘Josh doesn’t have social media, but I want to thank him for whisking me away on a romantic tropical vacation he planned entirely on his own.’

She added in a second post alongside a selfie with Josh, ‘Some people are lucky enough to get forever the first time but no one should be shamed for things not working out and no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

‘Remember that before making judgements and ᴀssumptions … and this woman/mama is still lucky enough to have this man choose me.’

The couple announced their engagement in September 2021, and married privately one month later.

They went on to throw a lavish wedding in Hawaii in September 2022.

In January, she posted a crying selfie, which she said was taken after one of her pH๏τo shoots with Hall back in June 2024

In January, she posted a crying selfie, which she said was taken after one of her pH๏τo shoots with Hall back in June 2024

In 2022, the couple also co-launched a production company, called Unbroken Productions, which was behind her shows Christina on the Coast and Christina in the Country.

Two years later, it was revealed that the pair would be starring in a new compeтιтion series with her ex Tarek and his new wife, Heather Rae El Moussa, enтιтled The Flip Off.

However, one month after the show announcement took place, Josh filed for divorce from Christina.

In January 2024, DailyMail.com revealed Haack had been quietly dating her current boyfriend for quite some time. 

‘Christina has been dating Chris Larocca for a few months now. They’re always together and out and about around Newport,’ a source spilled. 

‘They even have traveled abroad and visited other countries together.’

The insider went on to say that they are ‘surprised’ that news hasn’t come out about their relationship since ‘they certainly don’t hide that they’re together.’

While the timeline of when they actually started dating or details of how they met are unclear, Christina and Chris have attended multiple events together the past three months and recently enjoyed a trip to Cabo San Lucas together.

In January 2024, DailyMail.com revealed Haack had been quietly dating her current boyfriend for quite some time (seen together in Cabo San Lucas)

In January 2024, DailyMail.com revealed Haack had been quietly dating her current boyfriend for quite some time (seen together in Cabo San Lucas)

Chris, who is president and CEO of Network Connex, a telecommunications service provider, has a 17-year-old daughter from his previous marriage.

He got divorced in January 2015 from his ex-wife, whom he’d been married to for eight years before they separated.

They continue to share joint custody of their child, as detailed in divorce documents obtained by DailyMail.com.

When asked if she planned to remarry anytime soon by Us Weekly earlier this year, Christina said, ‘I’ll always love love. I probably will [get married again] eventually. But, not anytime soon.’

She added that she would need to ‘be engaged for a minimum of, like, five years,’ before walking down the aisle again.

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