The Last Of Us, season two (Sky Atlantic)

Human society could collapse, and zombies might roam the land, but one glimmer of civilisation will never be extinguished. You’ll always be able to see a therapist.

‘How does that make you feel?’ the analyst will ask, as hordes of the slavering unᴅᴇᴀᴅ advance to feast on your entrails. 

The last words you might ever hear, before they begin to devour you, will be: ‘Same time next week? Oh, and I’ve emailed you my bill.’

As the hilariously bad post-apocalypse drama The Last Of Us returned, Joel (Pedro Pascal) was seeing a psycH๏τherapist to help him ‘process the trauma’ of surviving a zombie pandemic.

Some mysterious virus has swept the planet, turning people into brain-ᴅᴇᴀᴅ flesh-eating monsters. 

Human society could collapse, and zombies might roam the land, but one glimmer of civilisation will never be extinguished. You’ll always be able to see a therapist

‘How does that make you feel?’ the analyst will ask, as hordes of the slavering unᴅᴇᴀᴅ advance to feast on your entrails

As the hilariously bad post-apocalypse drama The Last Of Us returned, Joel (Pedro Pascal, pictured) was seeing a psycH๏τherapist to help him ‘process the trauma’ of surviving a zombie pandemic

Joel has dispatched legions of them, including his shrink’s own husband, which does give a slightly awkward spin to his talking-cure. 

‘I resent you for it,’ psychoanalyst Gail (Catherine O’Hara) tells him. ‘No… I hate you.’

You’d think that might count as a conflict of interest, but apparently not.

The Last Of Us is based on a video game, and it shows. Action sequences are a dizzying blur, as though you’re watching the screen while a teenager jiggles and waggles the PlayStation handset.

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The rest is horribly static. Characters stand in groups, only their heads moving, as they talk back and forth.

They look two-dimensional, with a narrow range of expressions, reciting dialogue that consists entirely of cliches.

This is the inevitable consequence of an entire generation growing up glued to Super Mario or ᴀssᴀssin’s Creed, never looking at ordinary telly. 

The basic skills of visual storytelling are already being lost, and it will only get worse now that today’s youngsters watch nothing but TikTok.

In the first series, Joel was trying to keep his 14-year-old ward Ellie (Bella Ramsey) safe. 

As it turned out, he didn’t need to bother, because she’s immune to the virus, no matter how many infected zombies bite her.

Bella isn’t traumatised by the violence. Living in the frozen wilds of Wyoming, she pᴀsses the days hunting virus victims with a sniper’s rifle. 

Her favourite thrill, though, is to stab them repeatedly in the neck with a hunting knife. She’s a nice girl.

Because Western civilisation has disintegrated, there are no cars or phones. Luckily, this is America, so there’s an unlimited supply of old guns. 

In the first series, Joel was trying to keep his 14-year-old ward Ellie (Bella Ramsey, pictured left) safe

As it turned out, he didn’t need to bother, because she’s immune to the virus, no matter how many infected zombies bite her

Bella isn’t traumatised by the violence. Living in the frozen wilds of Wyoming, she pᴀsses the days hunting virus victims with a sniper’s rifle

Everyone reverts to frontier fashions, with ten-gallon hats and spurs. And they all get a free horse, which is a useful perk.

I have a theory that Americans are obsessed with zombies because they secretly miss the days before General Custer, when any man with an urge for genocidal slaughter could saddle up and shoot as many Injuns as he fancied. 

This is no longer socially acceptable, so they fantasise about blasting the walking ᴅᴇᴀᴅ instead.

No matter how many zombies she butchers, Bella is moody. This is because she’s 19 and has just realised she’s a lesbian. A good therapist will help her process that.

The Last Of Us airs on HBO in the US and Sky Atlantic in the UK.