When Walton Goggins arrived in Thailand to shoot season three of The White Lotus, the 53-year-old actor experienced more than a bit of Déjà vu, after escaping to the tropical paradise some two decades ago following a dark tragedy. 

‘I had someone in my life that committed suicide,’ Goggins told GQ for its February 4th issue. ‘She was my wife.’ 

The Critics Choice Award winner was married to Leanne Knight from 2001 until her death in 2004.

Knight had gone missing and when her body was found, ‘ultimately it was revealed the decision that she’d made,’ the Justified actor explained. 

‘I thought it was really unrecoverable for me. Life on the other side of that,’ he said.

‘I spent the next three years looking for an excuse—not to end it, but certainly putting myself in situations that were questionable, not with drugs or anything like that, just life experiences and traveling. And I really went all over the world.’

When Walton Goggins arrived in Thailand to shoot season three of The White Lotus , the 53-year-old actor experienced more than a bit of Déjà vu, after escaping to the tropical paradise some two decades ago following a dark tragedy;  Pictured in Los Angeles in February

Those travels included India, Vietnam and Cambodia, but the adventure began in Thailand. 

‘The first island we were staying on, I realized, I’ve been on this road before,’ he said of returning to the surroundings that were more familiar than he had anticipated during production.

Read More White Lotus star Walton Goggins reveals bizarre detail about latest episode of season three

‘And then the next island we went to, I realized, “I’ve definitely been on this beach before. I know this boardwalk.” And all of the things kept coming back.’

The eerie experiences continued with each set up and came to a head on his last night of shooting along the Chao Phraya River in Bangkok. 

‘We pulled up to this dock, and I was like, “I know this dock.”‘

The Emmy nominee found another old familiar site not far off. ‘Oh my God. That’s the room I stayed in 20 years ago. That’s my balcony. That’s where I was the very first day I came here, 20 years ago, and in so much f-ing pain, man.’

‘We got out of the boat, and that’s where we were filming, man—all of the equipment was literally right in front of the H๏τel that I’d picked 20 years ago on the internet, on this little bitty road in this little bitty neighborhood.’

Considering the unusual coincidences, the Righteous Gemstones star said, ‘I think I haven’t had the time to fully unpack the symmetry between those two people showing up at the same place, separated by 20 years.’

Goggins revealed in an interview with GQ that he had fled to Thailand after the death of his first wife, Leanne Knight, who died by suicide in 2004

The actor said many of the locations in season three were places he had visited during his trip some 20 years ago. ‘I realized, I’ve definitely been on this beach before. I know this boardwalk. And all of the things kept coming back’

Looking back at the sad time, Goggins said, ‘I wish I could hug that guy. I wish I could whisper in his ear, “You’re going to be okay’

Goggins married writer and director Nadia Conners in 2011 and together they share son Augustus, 14;  Pictured in New York city in June 2024

Looking back at that day, Goggins said while recalling those memories ‘I thought, God, I wish I could hug that guy.’

‘I wish I could whisper in his ear, “You’re going to be okay. Life continues, and it continues for everybody if you can just hold on and lean into it and keep walking the walk that you’re walking, and keep looking for the answers.”‘

Goggins married writer and director Nadia Conners in 2011 and together they share son Augustus, 14. 

Today the actor focuses on living a life filled with graтιтude.  ‘I don’t take it for granted, man. If my life ends tomorrow, don’t weep for me, man, because God, whoever she is, has always been looking out for me. And protecting me.’

US: If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. There is also an online chat at 988lifeline.org.

UK: For help and support, call the Samaritans for free from a UK phone, completely anonymously, on 116 123 or go to samaritans.org.