Gwyneth Paltrow has opened up about her ‘rough and rocky’ time becoming a stepmother.

The actress, 52, admitted it took years to build trust with her husband Brad Falchuk’s children and that she now deeply regrets waiting so long before moving in with Brad after they got married.

‘In an ideal world, the relationship that you have your kids in works out, and your kids never have to experience divorce or blending families or anything like that. But a lot of times, that’s not the case,’ she said.

Gwyneth has two children, Apple, 20, and Moses, 19, from her previous marriage to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin while Brad shares his children with film producer Suzanne Bukinik.

‘Step-parenting is a pretty tricky arena. It requires a great deal of accountability, vulnerability, understanding your triggers – and nothing quite seems to trigger somebody, especially women, like stepmothers,’ she said.   

Speaking on her Goop pocast, the Oscar-winning actress revealed she struggled to bring Brad into her children’s lives after separating from Chris.

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened up about her ‘rough and rocky’ time becoming a stepmother to her husband Brad Falchuk’s children 

Gwyneth has two children, Apple, 20, and Moses, 19, (pictured) from her previous marriage to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin

‘What seems to happen every time is the dad is in the middle. The kids are having a hard time understanding and adjusting, they don’t want to let go of the family dynamic they had, and the dad is trying to appease both and play both sides. 

‘And the woman is like: Hey! Your kids are having a hard time! It’s very easy to take it personally.

‘I think women come in wanting harmony and good intentions, and it’s like the dream that it all is like the Brady Bunch and it blends really well. 

‘But the truth is, the only place to act out is against the stepmother – because they don’t want to push the dad away.’

Gwyneth ‘consciously uncoupled’ from Chris in 2014 after ten years of marriage, when Apple was nine and Moses eight. 

She started dating film and television producer Brad later that year after they met on the set of TV series Glee, which he produced and in which she had acted.

They tied the knot in 2018 in the Hamptons, – two years after Gwyneth and Chris’ divorce was finalised. Brad has a daughter, Isabella, now 20, and a son, Brody, 18.

Speaking to Brad, 54, a guest on her podcast this week, Gwyneth claims it was actually his children – rather than her own – who helped her understand what it meant to be a mother.

Gwyneth said: ‘In an ideal world, the relationship that you have your kids in works out, and your kids never have to experience divorce or blending families or anything like that. But a lot of times, that’s not the case’ 

Speaking on her Goop pocast , the Oscar-winning actress revealed she struggled to bring Brad into her children’s lives after separating from Chris (pictured in 2015) 

‘To be maternal… actually, it was your kids who really helped me define this. When I look back, we traversed through some really rough things. The lessons you learn from your stepchildren have been really profound for me,’ she said.

‘One of my most profound lessons that I learned from my relationship with your daughter, which is now so fantastic, is that there was testing going on. 

‘She was testing me all the time to see at what point I would reject her. And at some point, I decided, I just need to be exactly that – the essence of maternal: without opinions, without words, without corrections.

‘What does it mean to embody the essence of the maternal? I landed on this metaphor of the sun. The sun is incredibly warm and casting off light and sunshine, ray of light, and doesn’t need anything back in order to be it. 

‘It just gives off – it just emanates. And that’s what I thought Izzy needed from me. I was just going to be that presence for her, always loving and forgiving. 

‘I was so there for her that she would not question my intentions or think that I was there to take you away from her.’

However, it did not come without its challenges. Gwyneth admitted she unintentionally co-created an unhealthy dynamic with her step-daughter at the beginning of their relationship.

‘I fell into this trap a couple of times of being triggered by a child,’ she explained. ‘It hits at something so core and so primal, which I think is probably specific to each person. 

Gwyneth and Brad tied the knot in 2018 in the Hamptons, – two years after Gwyneth and Chris’ divorce was finalised. Brad has a daughter, Isabella, now 20, and a son, Brody, 18

‘But to me, it was: am I lovable? Am I accepted too? It’s like my core stuff gets challenged by the child’s behaviour. I think a lot of times, the woman can sort of co-create that dynamic.

‘It’s interesting because I’ve never had a clear opportunity to ascend to my highest self more than in my role as a stepmother because I think it required a mastery over my own impulses, my own damage, you know, my own weaknesses, my own my ego, all the things.

‘I had to talk to myself. I had to actively remind myself to be the adult at all times, and there were, like, a few moments that were really, really hard.’

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Gwyneth added while it took ‘years’ for them all to become a fully blended family unit, there are now countless upsides. 

‘You get to create something really new and beautiful out of something uncomfortable. I love that everybody in our family had the agency to help co-create what we were doing. 

‘Of course, like in every storybook, there were good things and there were rocky things – but it’s been amazing for me to watch all four kids kind of grow into this and embrace it.

‘And it’s almost like the payoff is kind of greater when it’s your step kid than your own kid. I guess because it’s not as natural of a relationship – you’re able to create something with this kid that is not your kid, but then becomes one of your kids. 

‘My dad used to say the only regret he had in his entire life was not having more kids. And I felt like that for a long time until I got[step-children].’

She regrets, however, waiting a year to move in with Brad after they got married. 

‘I think at the time, we really felt like we were doing the right thing,’ she said.

‘We were trying to kind of land the plane very, very gently and slowly and get everybody on board, but I’m not sure that it didn’t just prolong that thing of, like, we don’t know what we’re doing.’